THE GRATITUDE DANCE

THIS REPUBLIC OF SUFFERING

I've read this book over the past several months, a few pages at a time. It was quite fascinating, to see how the Civil War changed our culture's view of death. Since reading it, I've picked up on several references to ideas and mind-sets in our current lives. The accounting of soldiers' lives is always important - the total sum of the dead versus the individual deaths. Interesting, too, to see how the casualty reports affected military decisions, communities, and individuals.
If you are a Civil War buff, this is a must read.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE YOUNG MEN GONE? GONE TO SOLDIERS, EVERY ONE.

We have added a name to the Memorial Hall wall of heroes. Another young man, CPT Corey Jenkins, USA, was killed in Afghanistan on Aug. 25, 2009. He was serving as a Physician's Assistant. He was returning from a humanitarian mission to give cholera vaccinations to a local village. On their return, he and 7 others were killed by an IED. Today, we memorialized him at BYU.

This is the third name we have added to the wall since I began working here in April 2001. I hope it's the last. It's probably not.

I look at all the other names, dating from WWI, and think of the collective grief that each name represents. One long side of the Hall is all windows, facing east, framing Y Mountain. It seems fitting to be able to see the majesty and permanence of the mountains from this room.

The mountains give me a necessary reminder of my place in the scheme of things.

. . . IN WHICH WE PLANT A TREE

On Sunday, October 25, we planted a tree in Sarah and Bob's back yard in memory of Baby Boy, born still on July 23, 2009. Bob's parents and brother were visiting. Sarah and Bob chose a Linden tree, which is native to this part of Utah. Dan, Thomas, and Bob dug the large hole to accomodate the tree and root ball. [Kate held Yaya over the hole and scared her to death! It was classic teasing at it's finest] Sarah had chosen a scripture "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21) We listened to the song "You Are My Sunshine" and cried while they filled in the hole. (I always sang that to my children; my dad sang it to us; his mother sang it to him) It was such a tender moment, and my heart ached for them.

Sarah's greatest fear is that we will all forget him, but that will never, ever happen. We love ALL of you so much.

MOVIE MANIA

I rarely watch movies on DVD, videos, whatever. I do have NetFlix, but generally send the movies back after they sit around on the kitchen bar for a month or more. However, 10 days ago, I went with my sister-in-law to see "Amelia." It has Richard Gere (yum!) and Hillary Swank. It was excellent! It was worth even full price. I know, the critics panned it, but it was a great [mostly accurate] story of Amelia Earhart and beautiful scenery that made me glad I saw it on the big screen. I'm not a Hillary Swank fan, but I loved her in this movie.
Last night, I decided to watch my NetFlicks selection "P.S. I Love You." I had been duly warned that it was a tear jerker, and it really was. Cheesy, yes. Believable, no. It is the ultimate chick flick -- Hillary Swank (again) is rather homely in it, but she has these great guys in her life - Harry Connick, Jr., Gerard Butler, and Dead-Denney-from-Grey's-Anatomy. Plus great scenery from Ireland and Manhattan. I mean, really, how can you go wrong? I didn't even multi-task while watching (except the first part while I ate Panda Express for dinner). No needlework, no reading, just sat and watched a movie. It was a modern miracle, I'm telling you.
Thank you, Dan and Jenn, for not laughing at me crying through the entire thing.

Tomorrow's weather. . .

Snow is predicted tomorrow. . . hopefully not this much.

Can you guess where I was?

Did you think I'd go anywhere there wasn't Diet Coke or flamingos?!

You should go to South Dakota

Club Janke

I went to South Dakota (and Iowa and Nebraska - sometimes all 3 in just a few minutes) to visit my dear friend Peg last week. It was such a wonderful, restful break in mi vida loca! I think I'll make it through the holidays at least! We spent two full days, in our jammie pants - no hair or make up -- and made homemade cards. Peg had everything set up and has TONS of great papers and doo-dads to work with. (I have tons, too, but wouldn't know where to begin to find them in my mess!) She had precut, pre-printed, filled the house with snacks and diet Coke....it is a wonder I ever came home! I got to see her two darling grandchildren, Aidan and Ayla. Aidan was waiting for me at the airport with a "Guh Leseberg" sign he had decorated. (My grandkids call me Guh) I hadn't seen their mother since she was about 10 or 12, so it was great to see Kendra too -- and meet Aaron, her husband. Did I mention Peg's husband Roger? What a great sport to give us DVD set ups, news updates, etc while I was there.

The last day, Peg treated me to a SPA DAY! We had pedicures while we ate lunch, had manicures, and then a MASSAGE. Oh, the decadence of a massage -- I'd never had one. I was almost purring by the time it was over. She may have created a monster.

I took pictures of our mess -- but not how neat and orderly the den was before we began our marathon! I actually make a bigger mess by myself when I actually sew or scrap book.

A MOUSE IN OUR HOUSE

Sunday, we discovered a mouse had taken up residence in our kitchen pantry. So, after almost four years of living pet-free, we got another cat.
Dan, Jenn and I went to the Salt Lake City Humane Society (now there's a gut-wrenching place) and picked out a 2 month-old tortoise-looking calico, spayed female kitten, with yellow eyes. It was really difficult to choose, and many of the kittens tugged at my heart. (Never mind the older cats, and I couldn't even look in the dog room)
For now, we're calling her SheeRah, Princess of Power; but I'm not quite convinced that's her name. I'm kind of tossing around Tortellini. Given our diverse pet names, who knows what we'll end up calling her?!
She has a mighty big role to fill as our family pet. We'll always miss Grunty, Ytl, Soobie, Poose, Mo, and Lucy.

The thing I like best about the first day of fall is having survived the summer.

Busy. Hectic. Full. Sad. All of the above. We had our daughter and 3 children from Houston visit us for a month in May-June. It was so much fun and we packed in all the love we could. Then, my sister's family came for 8-9 days for her daughter's wedding. They brought Brody with them, too! (Thanks so much) Less than 2 weeks later, we were the host family for Mel's family reunion. We fed and entertained between 60-70 people for 4 days. *Whew* We had a lot of fun, but it was exhausting.
I thought I'd cruise the rest of the summer, and catch up on projects, etc. But, 5 days after the reunion, Sarah and Bob found out their baby had died at about 20-21 weeks of pregnancy. Sarah had gone for a routine ultra sound, and the baby had died. On July 23, 2009, Baby Boy Ralston was stillborn. We are all devastated.
The rest of summer passed slowly and sadly with the exception of Jenn's graduation from BYU in August. *GO JENN!* We got to visit with her family while they were here from Colorado.
Now, school has started -- Bailey in Kindergarten (all day!) in Houston; Bob in his Nurse Practioner program at BYU; and everyone wants to join Army ROTC, so my business is good.
So long summer. Welcome Fall -- the best season in Utah. We are ready for a change.

MODERN MARVELS

**CAUTION** ORGAN RECITAL FOLLOWS!

For over 5 years, I've been pursuing relief from allergies and asthma. I've suffered unbelievably my entire life, no matter where I live. Three times, in 25+ years, I've tried allergy desensitization shots and couldn't tolerate even the lowest dose.

About 5.5 years ago, when asthma was becoming a chronic and regular issue, I went to a pulmonologist. He tested my blood for auto-immune somethings. I was over a 100 points past BAD. In turn, because of having this test, I met the criteria for a super-duper wonder drug, Xolair, that blocks all antihistamine responses. I go to a local allergy doctor for this.

This wonder drug is made from recombinant DNA and costs $1800 every 2 weeks, for 2 shots. The serum is thick like honey and hurts while going in very slowly. The nurse's arm would start to shake while injecting it! This shot enabled me to take allergy desensitization shots. This involved 2 shots, twice a week, gradually decreasing over 5 years to 2 shots, every 2 weeks. A separate office visit was required for each set of shots. As you can see, this has taken a huge amount of time and commitment on my part -- as well as really good insurance! I did have a relatively small copay. (We have primary and secondary insurance)

Last week, I had my final Xolair shot! After meeting with the doctor on Monday, I'm looking at stopping even maintenance desensitization shots in 6 months or so.

I can honestly point to this treatment as a therapy that has changed my life. Not only have I been able to stop 3-4 regular prescriptions, but I rarely require an antihistamine. I can be outside, work in the yard, sit in the grass, eat fresh fruit and veggies. I rarely have sinus issues, and I haven't had an asthma attack for over 5 years.

This sounds like an organ recital, but for me, it's been a long, demanding journey whose destination has changed my life.

Thanks, Dr. Matheson. YOU ROCK!!

A Witness to Grace

"I learned that unbelievably awful things can and do happen. In truth, they are not such rare, isolated events. Each of us has a story that would break someone’s heart. Despite the grief and the unfairness of it all, we keep going. There are chores to be done. There are people who still need our care. There is a life to be led.

The real lesson? I realized that, regardless of the heartache, we may choose the moments in which we live.

On that day, I learned that love creates a tremendous capacity for grace. And perhaps it is that grace that keeps us moving forward." (Aldra Robinson)

This is part of an essay that was featured today on the Real Simple Daily Thought page. It certainly strikes a chord in my soul. Especially today. And everyday.

Shredders, Copiers and other Office Annoyances

I went a couple of rounds with my shredder today. The area around my desk looks like someone threw up confetti. At least I didn't have to find any paper jams in the copier, too. We had Mr. Copier-Fix-It out yesterday to rehab the machine. The first week of school pretty much trashes it. (I wish I could convince my co-workers that there IS a right/wrong side of copier paper when you load it.)
Then there's the NEWANDIMPROVED voice messaging on the telephone. I pray everyday that they don't "upgrade" our service again. Don't even get me started on computer updates ~ my Microsoft 2007 wants to update to 2008, every time I start or close my computer. Never EVER agree to automatic updates. If you do, you're screwed.
Thank heavens we have an in-house techie for part of each day. The scariest thing is that I'm not even close to the most machine-impaired person in this building.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR HOLIDAYS

So, a 3-day weekend, and not a moment too soon. We're going to St. Anthony, ID to visit Mel's dad. Daniel and Jenn are going with us, so we should have some fun. Maybe I'll even figure out how to post some pictures when we get back.
Anyone else have fun plans?

It wasn't me, I promise!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090903/od_nm/us_flamingo

Classmates

School has started again, and working at a university, I still get some of the new-school-year thrill. Nothing like when I was a kid, or when my children were in school, but still. . . . So, I decide to look on ClassMates.something for my high school in Atlanta. I was able to see MANY names that I think I recognized. But, after 36 years, who the heck knows? I clicked on a few names with pictures and stories and was struck by how OLD everyone looks! (I need to get younger friends since I'm sure I don't look nearly that old) There was not one person that I actually felt like I'd want to contact. Many of them had obviously had VERY different lives than I have, and I can't imagine we'd have much in common. Am I the only one who is somewhat dismayed/concerned/appalled at 54 year old men who are still playing their electric guitars in their garages? *sigh*

THE BEGINNING

Today, being September 1st, seemed like a good beginning to blog about my life.
Sometimes, my life is like a whirlwind or outrageously funny or gut-wrenching sad, always drama filled, and (hopefully) boring someday. I want to document and share with friends some of the joys and sorrows and humor of my world.